Shadow Peeping: Celestial Exploits for Fun and Profit
Where does your shadow go at night? I like to think it takes a little nap behind your ear, or maybe it goes out for a drink with ninjas and angels. Not important. What matters is that when the shadow is away, the eyes will play. This is when the shadow booty peeper is in the gravest danger. Like a thirsty vampire on the hunt who mourns the victim’s life he takes, the shadow booty peeper knows he has to peep, but without a shadow? Careful wayward pervs, getting caught mid peep is both awkward and dangerous.
The moon only supplies so much light, and the the florescent glare of the subway distorts the shadow. My recommendation is to stay home and play video games, or peruse one of my many websites. However, if you are out and about and the sun is shining, use the following information for your benefit and the benefit of others.
To peep, or not to peep, there is no question. Gotta peep it. This is the fundamental principle by which I live my life. Life is a candy jar, and although I enjoy sweets, I cannot have them all or I’ll get a tummy ache. People love to look at things and it is beyond the scope of this article to defend the desire to peep. So let us assume for the sake of posterity that a peeps a peep. So what is the right way to take a lookie lou?
Booties can be seen from front, back, and side to side. And yet, a true peep is from the back. This is pervy and disgusting. We are not leopards in a tree waiting to pounce on a capibara. We are civilized people with a healthy curiosity.
Step one: take position
A shadow booty peeper’s best weapon is the lean, the cell phone and non-reflective surfaces (although in another segment I will discuss a new exploit the reflection peep. It’s an advanced move and should not be tackled without first mastering the shadow peep). Check the sun and move into position.
Step two: mind the physics
You have to understand the time of day and how the shadow will play. This is second to taking position, but from the wrong position, this step is worthless. So make sure to note the speed of your target and potential changes in trajectory
Look at the shadow cast by your subjects butt.
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- 11.19.08 / 10am