Vicarious Booty Grabbing

I remember this story being good, but as a I type it out I am realizing it sucks…anyways, here is the first part of a story about touching butts.  Most roughest of rough drafts.  Here is the one sentence synopsis so you can decide if you want to waste your time:

A guy gets hit by a car, and the woman who hits him agrees to grab girls butts while wearing a machine that transmits the feeling back to him. * two thumbs up*

Walter was the curious type.  No unlabeled book went unturned. No unmarked tin went unsmelt.  And most certainly no booty went unpeeped.

Genie Sletterbomb had just left the lab as the sun was starting to rise.  Tired of her research and even more tired of her bosses tirades, she flopped down into her Honda Civic and sped off towards her Brooklyn home.  Bedford street was treating her especially well that day: no food delivery boys going the wrong way to rattle her gentle nerves.  Drug slanging didn’t bother her, but those damn bikers with their overlong handlebars for the purpose of balancing more bags of shitty food really got to her.  Research was going well though and she really had no reason to compalin.   …blahadarg

Anyways, so Walter was absently strutting down the street counting his tips.  a measily $50, but it would be enough for a milkshake and a forty with some left over for coffee in the morning.

When a car hits you the first thought to go through your mind, and potentially the last I suppose, is not the life you led, or the things you have left undone that your future might hold.  It is the awkward sensation of not being able to focus your eyes., and the curious feeling of not feeling anything.  Walter lay face down in a pile of one dollar bills while his left rear molar rolled off the street and into the gutter.

When you hit a person with your car you feel as though you have accidentally bumped into an empty cardboard box, but with the imediate sensation of fucking up.  Similar to stubbing your toe.  Not like stubbing your toe at 2am when you are wasted and going to pee and trying to see if your cute roommate is drunk enough to make some mistakes.  It is more like stubbing your toe at a PTA meeting right before it’s your turn to speak.

Over a cup of coffee and vicodin, Walter explained why his mouth hurt and how much it sucked and the deep shittiness that Genie should feel.  All the while Genie was trying to decide if just fucking this guy would be a better idea then trying to deal with Walter’s clear need for someone to spoon feed his inadequacies.

A bargain was struck.  Genie would pay for Walter’s medical bills and would give him $250 for the week that he couldn’t go to work for the lost tips.  On top of the assurances that Genie made, she also decided that she would bring him to work to use as an example for her current research.  She figured she got off clean and easy and before he changed his mind she would show him that she was truly sorry.

The applicability of her current research and even more current incident were uncanny.  For years now Genie had been studying and developing a machine to help people feel what other people are feeling, or, have felt.  This is both the mental and physical.  The hope was that the machine would help the criminally insane to understand the emotional stress and physical pain that they inflicted on their victims.  In this case Genie felt obligated to let Walter know she was sympathetic with his plight.  So much so that she would plug into the machine and feel his pain…so to speak.

Wow, that must have hurt, she said as she wiped the tear from her left eye.  Um, yeah, it does hurt.  Genie’s guilt was not alleviated  by Walter watching her experience the machine.

A bargain was struck…another one?  A bargain that would forever change their lives.  That was the lamest sentence I could think of.

Walter, being the ever pervy and curious creature that he is, decided to exploit the current guilt of Genie.  The machine was mobile.  There was a limit to how far the machine could transmit from one participant to the other, but that would not hinder their operation.  Essentially, Walter wanted Genie to grab other girls booties.  It wasn’t really more complicated than that.  Walter would wear the recipiants device and hide away a block or so from Genie.  She would decide the most appropriate excuse for touching the girls booty and would transmit back to Walter.  He would discover the wonders that lurked in ever girls pants through this glorious machine.


Oh man, this awful…

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